Ask the Teachers

Question: At what point is it appropriate to consider doing a three-year retreat or very long-term, isolated meditation? How can we be of greatest benefit to sentient beings? Is it by participating in everyday family and community life or by practicing as a hermit yogi?

Narayan Liebenson Grady: I have an enormous love for retreats of any length so I am answering from the perspective of this joy in the contemplative life. My first encounter with Buddhism was in meeting a friend who had just returned from a three-month retreat. I was so happy to find out that this was possible, even for lay practitioners.

Still, retreats aren’t right for every yogi. It’s a good idea to speak to a teacher about it, because there are some practitioners who should be encouraged to do a retreat and others who should not. As for timing, a good time to go on a long retreat is when you don’t have many responsibilities. Few of us are able to sit three-year retreats in the midst of family life. Shorter retreats ranging from three months to a weekend are more the norm in the insight meditation tradition.

As for your question about what brings the greatest benefit to others, it depends on how you are in your everyday life and how you practice as a hermit yogi. In family, work, and community life, are you dedicated to openheartedness? Are you committed to being mindful and aware in the midst of your life? If you are sitting a retreat, are you sitting a self-retreat or a not-self retreat? By this I mean, is your intent to try to get something, or is it to learn more about letting go? What’s key is whether you’re living your life with awareness and nongrasping—regardless of whether you’re alone on retreat or with others in community.

Although Buddhist communities generally stress the value of retreats, if you are not able to do retreats—perhaps because of physical or emotional vulnerabilities or because of responsibilities to others—it’s essential not to view this as a problem, and to embrace your life as it is. Attending to what is happening right now is the key to transformation. I’d like to stress this point because I come in contact with so many yogis who suffer from self-doubt because they are no longer able to sit retreats due to chronic illness. There are many ways to attain the kind of understanding that liberates the heart; it is not confined to any particular form, such as a retreat.

Beginning practitioners sometimes ask me if it’s selfish to go on retreat. This strikes me as curious given that daily life activities such as watching television, playing video games, and spending hours on Facebook are not normally questioned. As with all things, it’s important to examine your motivation. Ask yourself why you want to do a retreat.

Excerpted from the Summer 2010 issue of Buddhadharma: The Practitioner's Quarterly, available on newsstands May 25th.

ZENKEI BLANCHE HARTMAN is former abbess of the San Fransico Zen Center.

GESHE TENZIN WANGYAL RINPOCHE is a lineage holder of the Bön Dzogchen tradition of Tibet.

NARAYAN LIEBENSON GRADY is a guiding teacher at Cambridge Insight Meditation Center.