Q: I have been practicing for almost thirty years. I find when I meditate or study dharma teachings, I feel wonderful, as if all my problems have disappeared. But that feeling doesn’t usually last long. In my daily life at work and at home relating to my wife and children, I experience stress and anxiety. This manifests as a feeling of intense hunger, which causes me to overeat and occasionally causes severe muscle spasms in my lower back. I also struggle with feelings of sorrow and anger relating to financial problems and the behavior of others. I think about how my job and family situation aren’t what I want them to be, and I fantasize about a life where I could spend more time meditating and studying dharma, which only exacerbates my feelings of discontent.
Evidently I keep my act together in some ways, because my teacher wants to certify me as a dharma teacher, but I feel like a fraud because of my personal situation. Please help.